wait

Have you ever thought about how much time we spend waiting?  Whether that’s waiting in traffic or waiting for your food at a restaurant, waiting for high school to be over, for college to be over, or waiting to find that perfect job.  Maybe it’s waiting to find the perfect soul-mate with whom you’ll spend the rest of your life.  Or maybe it’s just waiting for the laundry to be done so you can go to bed.  For many, the underlying assumption is that waiting time is wasted time.  Either way, you’re waiting.  And you’re doing a lot of it.

Sometimes waiting is more fun than other times, though, am I right?  I mean, waiting can also be full of anticipation and excitement.  Waiting to hear good news, waiting for the birth of a new baby, waiting for the sunrise. 

What if we treated all waiting as “good” waiting?  As expectant waiting?

My last Sunday in DC I heard a terrific sermon at Church of the Advent, the church I’d been attending most of the fall.  As we entered into the season of Advent (the liturgical season in the Church leading up to Christmas) the Pastor appropriately spoke to us on waiting, but not just any kind of waiting – waiting in eager expectation.  The key point: Moments spent waiting on God are moments of inestimable worth.  Really, we’re ALL waiting, for something far greater than clean laundry.  You see, since the time of sin and the Fall (Genesis 3) we’ve been in spiritual exile, waiting to go Home, to our eternal Home in Heaven with God.  Getting what we’re waiting for (that job, that husband, that food) doesn’t fulfill us entirely because until the exile is ended, until we are restored in the New Heaven and the New Earth, we’re still waiting.  All waiting is ultimately waiting for Jesus to come again.  Come, Lord Jesus, Come.

What impact does this understanding have on how we wait?  This eternal waiting should have an impact on how we wait every day.  First, wait in full assurance of God’s promises – hopeful, anticipatory expectation.  Secondly, wait and live as though you have a King; the Messiah has come and will come again.  Thirdly, and this is so important, understand that God’s purposes often include waiting.  Exile is not a time where we are cut off from God, but a time of hard service that has a purpose.  Waiting does not mean you’ve been abandoned; God is present, trustworthy and intentional.  He does not leave you to wait because He has some sick and twisted game to play on you.  No, waiting has a purpose.  Lastly, God will provide for all your needs while you wait.  The book of Isaiah is full of waiting – waiting for the Savior, waiting for relief from captors, waiting for a return from exile.  But God provides throughout it all.

Waiting is both an eternal thing and a day-to-day reality.  Waiting in eager expectancy of what God is revealing.  In some ways, the true point is walking with God–endurance.

As I left my time at IJM I felt like I was truly entering into my own personal season of Advent, my own season of waiting.  It could last a few weeks, or a few months, or…longer.  But it was to be a time of waiting on God – drawing from the Psalmists to be strong, take heart, and wait on the Lord.  Waiting to see what my next season of life would look like – job, location, community.  This beautiful reminder at church, though, helped me see anew that our whole life is a season of waiting.  Waiting in eager expectancy for Christ’s return.  And somehow, the day-to-day waiting doesn’t seem so intimidating when viewed through that lens.

I have a devotional book my Mom gave me a while ago called Jesus Lives by Sarah Young.  Oftentimes it serves as a general reminder of a truth I’d forgotten, or helps me see an aspect of faith with fresher eyes.  Sometimes, though, and this is really cool, the devotional I end up reading one day speaks straight to the core of something I’m challenging with that day, speaks straight to the core of what message I need to hear from God at that point in time.  A little something to share from a recent reading:

“To receive My peace, you must change your grasping, controlling stance to one of openness and trust.  Grasping and controlling are your means of trying to feel safe.  However, such an approach actually hurts you and works against you: The more you manipulate and maneuver for control, the more anxious you become.  Rather than striving for peace of mind through these means, abandon Yourself to Me.  MY HAND IS THE ONLY THING YOU CAN GRASP WITHOUT DAMAGING YOUR SOUL.  Let Me help you open your hands and receive all that I have for you.  What you do with your body can help or hinder what goes on in your soul.  When you realize you are grasping for control, become aware of your body language.  Intentionally open your hands, releasing your concerns to Me and inviting Me to take charge.  Open your heart and mind as well, as you lift your hands to Me.  You are now in a good position to receive My many blessings, not the least of which is awareness of My Presence.  Enjoy the Peace that flows out from Me while you bask in the Light of My Love.  Then, when you move back into your activities, consciously grasp My hand in childlike dependence.  For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, ‘Do not fear; I will help you.’ (Isaiah 41:13). 

Wait–in eager expectation–grasping the hand of God.

seasons

It seems that every year January 1st sneaks up on me.  I’m amazed that another year has come and gone.  You’d think I’d realize the pattern, not be so shocked every time we count down to midnight and fireworks explode off the Space Needle.  And yet…here I am.  January 2012.  Surprise!

As I reflect on 2011 I’m grateful for what a blessed year it really was.  Not without its challenges, pain or confusion of course.  But overall a very blessed year with what I see as three very distinct seasons of life.  The winter/spring was post-HNGR, re-entry, final semester of college, graduation.  Then came a summer of home, family, and mountain climbing.  The third leg of the journey took me to DC where I learned, made new friendships, and adventured in a new way. 

It was hard to see that season end.  Really hard.  I made some incredible friends there – both among interns and staff – who I wasn’t ready to say good-bye to.  I loved being part of IJM on that level – hearing live and confidential updates during morning prayer, sitting in on Aftercare meetings where important policy was written and re-written, spending time every day with incredibly wise and gracious people.  But I had signed up for September 12^th through December 9^th.  I knew what to expect.  And still, somehow December 5^th snuck up on me, bringing with it my last week at IJM.  Full of final project details, meetings, coffee dates, evaluations, celebrations.  It flew by in a whirlwind.  Thursday afternoon hit and I walked out of that office and on towards the DC Benefit Dinner.  It all seemed so surreal.

Sidenote: I don’t think I’ve ever said it before, but IJM knows how to celebrate.  I mean, really celebrate.  Whether it’s cake during morning prayer because God just did something awesome, or the two separate intern celebrations we had that final week (both full of encouragement, joy and laughter) or the swanky Benefit Dinner with over a 1000 attendees, IJM knows how to celebrate.

Although our last official day in the office was Thursday the 8^th, that Friday we were privileged enough to share in the December Staff Prayer Retreat.  IJM knows how to celebrate, but they also really know how to worship, reflect, pray, and listen together.  So Staff Prayer Retreat?  Call me eager.  Especially when we discovered that JARS OF CLAY (my all-time favorite band, by the way) would be leading us in worship!  I could go into tremendous detail telling you about how awesome that was, or how great it was to be with all those dear IJM people on last time, but instead I’ll spare you my hysterics (JARS OF CLAY!!!!!) and just say this:

As I sat at my table surrounded by dear friends who had been complete strangers just three months prior, listening to Jars of Clay play and to Gary Haugen and others speak on patience (the IJM theme of the year) everything just felt…right.  Like this was how it was absolutely meant to end.  You see, Jars of Clay has been incredibly instrumental in my faith journey.  For practically every season of my life, there’s a corresponding Jars of Clay song.  No joke.  So as I sat there letting the music wash over me, reflecting, listening, praying, sharing, it felt so complete.  The craziness and stress of the week washed away.  This season was ending; it was time.  And God overwhelmed me by allowing Jars of Clay to send me onwards, to end that season with me.  It was still hard to say good-bye.  Tearful farewells (ahem, see you later’s).  Hugs all around.  Prayers for one another.  One last attempt at bubble tea.  But it was also the right time.  Be at peace, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. 

If I had to use only one word to describe my time at IJM…BLESSING.  An abundant blessing.  Thank you, Father, and thank you to all the incredible staff and interns who blessed me during my time as an intern.

Fall 2011 Intern Class from Start to Finish

p.s. here’s a photo of me with JARS OF CLAY taken on a friend’s phone, couldn’t pass it up :]

 

 

Want to know what I’m headed towards next?  New blog coming soon.  Teaser: “Wait.”  No really, that’s what it’s titled, not that you have to wait… hahaha. ha.